Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
