I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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