Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We have started to decorate penises.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize
