if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
