im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
