they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
