I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
