What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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