You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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