Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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