Buhtt sex?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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