thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
