WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
