i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
