wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
