i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
