Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
