found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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