I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
