just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
