She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my shit smells like andre
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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