i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
