how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
