The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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