Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
