so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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