just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
