Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
