Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
