I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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