Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
