just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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