I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
