pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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