he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He passed out mid-signature
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
