I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
