There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
