new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
