He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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