I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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