Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
