The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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