Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
