bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
