and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
