sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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