I'm jealous of your bromance
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
