I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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