i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
