Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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